S. Epatha Merkerson, Dulé Hill Tell the Magee Family Story

- US Army Sergeant Anthony Oneal Magee from Hattiesburg, Mississippi served two tours of duty in Iraq.

Here to share the story of three generations of his family are acclaimed actors S. Epatha Merkerson, Dulé Hill and Chosen Jacobs.

(thoughtful music) - Anthony was the perfect child.

Everybody loved him.

I had him when I was 18.

My husband Tony and I didn't know a thing about raising kids but we decided to stick together no matter what to raise our family like a family is supposed to be.

- My brother Anthony was the eldest.

Then Monica, LeRon and me.

Anthony was that kid everybody wanted to be around.

He was a giver and he was a straight A student.

Instead of college I joined the Air Force.

Been in 19 years.

- I did not want Anthony to join the Army because he would be away from us and you can bet we had a good fight about that.

But he wanted to serve his country and he said he could afford to take care of his son Kameron better if he joined the military.

- It was hard having a dad who was always deploying somewhere.

I remember times he came home, we used to be happy and all that.

He was real good to me, always.

- When the Army called about Anthony it was the day before Tony's birthday.

We had planned a crawfish boil, but it started raining.

The phone rang, LeRon answered and said, "Mom somebody needs to speak to Dad."

Then I heard Tony say, "Anthony Magee?"

and when he said that, I hit the floor.

I said, "Lord, please don't let it be Anthony."

- Anthony had been talking to a friend outside his tent helping him through a hard time.

When he turned to go inside, a rocket exploded and a piece of shrapnel went right into the back of his head.

They medivacked him to Landstuhl in Germany near where I was stationed.

When I walked in that room I knew I'd never talk to my brother again.

- My faith was so strong, I just thought, "When I get over there I can pray and God will touch him and make him live."

When I saw Anthony it looked like he was just sleeping.

I fell on my knees.

I held Anthony's hand and Tony and I begged God for our son's life.

- By the time my mom finished praying, every doctor, every nurse, anybody who was within the sound of her voice was on their knees right there with us.

There had to be 30 people in Anthony's room.

Every one of them was crying.

- They told us that he had been hit in his leg, his arms and his side, but they hadn't told us right away about the shrapnel in his head.

We talked to the doctor.

Anthony was dead.

I knew in that moment I had to let him go.

He was God's child now.

- It was hard going back to Hattiesburg after that, but the whole town came out to pay their respects.

There were cars on both sides of the highway stopped with their blinkers on, people waving their flags as Anthony's coffin rolled past.

It was powerful seeing strangers standing there sharing your grief for a person they've never known.

It hits them because people think "That could have been my son or my daughter or my husband or my wife."

- I was five around the time my dad died.

Really (sighs) it's hard when you're young and you lose a parent.

Now you start asking questions like why.

You wish it all never happened.

You wish that your parent was there for you and he isn't.

- We thought time would heal.

It hasn't.

Not a day goes by that we don't think of Anthony.

On holidays when the family gathers somebody mentions him, tells stories, but he's not there.

A piece of my heart just faded away, the grief, I can't really let it come out.

I just keep it balled up inside of me.

- My mom didn't get that moment of mourning for herself because she was trying to make sure everybody else was okay.

We're all broken from it.

My dad still wears Anthony's dog tags.

Kameron started having trouble in school, especially if somebody said something about his dad.

- I was angry for a long time.

But meeting up with other gold star families really helped me.

We share stories about our parents, their lives.

We understand each other's pain and loss.

Having someone to talk to, it means so much.

- When I think about it now, we would've been better off if we had talked to somebody, a counselor.

My daughter, Monica is the only one who did and it really helped her.

- The healing is still going on.

It's just not the same.

It's a stinging, lasting, enduring hurt.

It's like a rollercoaster.

Anthony had so much going for him.

It's hard to believe it's been 13 years.

- I'm not ever forgetting my son.

But the little things, you know, like a leaf falling off a tree are starting to go.

I understand.

I had to understand that Anthony had done what he came to do on this Earth.

He had done so much for so many.

He lived a whole life by 29.

And when I see Kam, I see Anthony.

He's in his boy.

- They say my dad and I act alike.

They tell me stories about him, so I have more memories of him.

Makes me happy to know I'm just like him.

For my senior prom, I had my dad's photo printed on the back of my suit and I rocked it.

(laughs) Yeah, everybody loved it.

In a way, it felt like my dad was with me.

- We've always been a tight family and are gonna be that forever.

When Anthony passed, it hurt everybody.

It was a chain and we lost one link in it but it's still strong.

We just tighten it up a little more.

Sometimes I sit and think about how different life would be if he was still here.

It makes Monica, LeRon, and me all so sad that Anthony will never know our children and they will never know him.

We lost a big heart, the man he would've become.

- Kameron's turned into a fine young man in his first year of college.

He'll always love and miss his daddy.

I don't want him to forget him.

Too many others already have.

- They give you Memorial Day they give you Veterans Day and they say, "Okay, these are the days when we recognize service and our loss."

Right?

Then it's over like that's enough.

But it's not enough.

- That first Memorial Day after Anthony passed we probably got 100 calls from folks saying they were thinking of us, but the next year it dropped to maybe 75, then 25.

Pretty soon, Memorial Day would come and go and the phone wouldn't ring.

I have no words to tell you how that makes a parent feel.

- My grandma told me that my dad served his country to make things better, not only for him, but for everyone.

I'd like people to know that my dad was a hero and I hope I make him proud.

It's important to remember those who gave their lives for something they believe in and honor their families.

That's why we're free.

Because of other people's sacrifice.

- Memorial Day used to be just a holiday for us.

I never really thought about what the day meant until we lost Anthony.

We have a whole new perspective now.

Our lives have been changed forever.

And in our house every day is Memorial Day.

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