THIS WEEK ON TO THE CONTRARY.•• FIRST, ARE WOMEN AS WEAPON FRIENDLY AS MEN?
THEN, IS CRYING IN THE WORKPLACE A SIGN OF WEAKNESS?
BEHIND THE HEADLINES: THE GOLDEN GIRLS- NOT JUST A CLASSIC TELEVISION SHOW ANYMORE.
♪ HELLO, I'M BONNIE ERBE.
WELCOME TO TO THE CONTRARY, A DISCUSSION OF NEWS AND SOCIAL TRENDS FROM DIVERSE PERSPECTIVES.
UP FIRST, WOMEN AND WEAPONS.
AS THE NATION DIVIDES OVER GUN CONTROL ONCE MORE, THE WOMEN'S LEADERSHIP FORUM OF THE NATIONAL RIFLE ASSOCIATION MEETS THIS WEEKEND IN COLORADO FOR THE GROUP'S ANNUAL SUMMIT.
WHILE THE NATIONAL RIFLE ASSOCIATION HAS RECRUITED WOMEN FOR TWO DECADES, POLLS SHOW WOMEN ARE STILL MUCH MORE LIKELY THAN MEN TO SUPPORT GUN CONTROL AND OPPOSE THE NRA'S STANCE.
LAST DECEMBER THE PEW RESEARCH CENTER RELEASED A POLL SHOWING FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2 DECADES MORE AMERICANS SUPPORTED GUN RIGHTS THAN GUN CONTROL.
BUT MORE THAN HALF OF (54%) OF WOMEN TOLD POLLSTERS THEY SUPPORTED GUN CONTROL, WHILE MANY FEWER (43%) WANTED TO PROTECT THE RIGHT TO OWN GUNS.
MEN SPLIT BY MUCH LARGER MARGINS (61% SUPPORT RIGHT TO OWN GUNS, 37% SUPPORT CONTROLLED OWNERSHIP.
ANOTHER POLL TAKEN BY YOUGOV AND THE ECONOMIST THIS SUMMER SHOWED 54 PERCENT OF WOMEN BELIEVED THAT HANDGUN CONTROL LAWS SHOULD BE STRICTER, COMPARED TO 49 PERCENT OF MEN.
MEANWHILE THE NEW YORK TIMES REPORTED THIS WEEK, APPARENTLY THE MOTHER OF OREGON SHOOTER CHRIS HARPER MERCER MADE ONLINE REFERENCES TO HAVING A SON WHO HAD A DISORDER ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM AND OF THE FAMILY HAVING STRONG PRO-GUN VIEWS.
ACCOUNTS LINKED TO LAUREL HARPER, HIS MOTHER, POSTED, "I KEEP ALL MY MAGS FULL.
I KEEP TWO FULL MAGS IN MY GLOCK CASE.
AND THE ARS & AKS ALL HAVE LOADED MAGS."
SO IS THE GUN CONTROL DIVIDE IN THIS COUNTRY JUST A JENDER DIVIDE?
>> I HOPE SO.
I STRONGLY BELIEVE AND HOPE AT THE END OF THE DAY GUN CONTROL REFORM IS GOING TO BE LED BY WOMEN IN THIS COUNTRY.
>> THERE ARE 350 MILLION GUNS.
I THINK FOR THE MOST PART IT WILL TAKE A LONG ROAD FOR CHANGE TO HAPPEN.
IT SHOULD HAPPEN FASTER BUT WE NEED MORE PRESSURE FROM MANY SOURCES.
>> IT IS A GENDER DIVIDE AND MANY THINGS ARE IN OUR POLITICS.
IN FACT, WOMEN ARE SHOWN TO BE MORE RISK-ADVERSE THAN ARE MEN.
IT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME WE SEE WOMEN LEAPING MORE TOWARD THE LIBERAL POSITION AND MENTOREDS THE CONSERVATIVE ONE.
>> WHEN IT COMES TO GUN CONTROL I HOPE WE CAN PRESENT A SOLUTION THAT WILL DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE PROBLEM.
NOTHING PRESENTED WOULD HAVE STOPPED THESE PROBLEMS.
>> WHAT ABOUT WHAT PRESIDENT OBAMA SUGGESTED LATE IN THE WEEK WHEN HE MET WITH THE FAMILIES OF THE VICTIMS IN OREGON, AND HE IS TALKING ABOUT EXECUTIVE ACTION TO REQUIRE BACKGROUND CHECKS IN ALL SITUATIONS.
AND THEY ARE NOT DONE AT GUN SALES -- GUN SHOWS.
>> YES, THEY ARE.
YES, THEY ARE.
THERE IS NO GUN SHOW LOOPHOLE THERE IS NO LAW THAT EXEMPTS GUN SHOWS FROM BEING BACKGROUND CHECKS.
YOU ARE STILL SUPPOSED TO.
THE ONLY TIME THERE IS NOT A BACKGROUND CHECK REQUIRED IS BETWEEN INDIVIDUALS, PRIVATE INDIVIDUALS WITHIN A STATE BORDER.
EVERY OTHER TIME A BACKGROUND CHECK IS REQUIRED.
>> BUT THERE IS A CLEAR PATTERN MOST MOST SHOOTERS ARE MALE WHILES.
AND SOMETHING THAT IS INTERESTING WE REGULATE UTERUSES THAN WE DO GUNS.
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT GUN CONTROL LET'S REGULATE GUNS LIKE ABORTIONS.
WHICH IS 72-HOUR WAITING PERIOD.
>> YOU CANNOT WALK INTO A GUNSHOP AND -- >> YOU CANNOT WALK INTO A GUNSHOP.
>> DO YOU KNOW HOW EASY IT IS TO GET GUNS.
>> IT IS NOT EASY TO GET A GUN.
YOU HAVE TO HAVE A WAITING PERIOD YOU HAVE TO PAY MONEY AND HAVE A BACKGROUND CHECK.
>> MY UNDERSTANDING FROM GUN LAWS IS DIFFERENT FROM YOUR UNDERSTANDING.
>> BECAUSE THE MEDIA PORTRAYS THEM WRONG.
>> BUT I HAVE BEEN TO A GUN SHOW A COUPLE YEARS AGO AND NOBODY WAS DOING BACKGROUND CHECKS.
YOU WALKED UP TO THE COUNTER AND PAID YOUR MONEY, AND YOU GOT A GUN ALL KINDS OF GUNS, INCLUDING AUTOMATIC WEAPONS, MILITARY STYLE WEAPONS.
>> YOU HAVE TO HAVE A BACKGROUND CHECK THAT IS WHAT IS HAPPENING AT GUN SHOWS.
IF THERE WAS AND POSSIBLY -- >> A PRIVATE SALE AT A GUN SHOW BETWEEN TWO INDIVIDUALS -- >> THEN YOU ARE NOT AT A LICENSED DEALER AT A GUN SHOW.
>> OK BUT THAT IS MOST OF GUN SHOWS.
>> NO, THEY ARE LICENSED DEALERS.
>> LET ME SAY IN THESE CASES THAT WE HAVE SEEN, CERTAINLY IN SANDY HOOK AS WELL AS THIS CASE IN OREGON, I DO NOT ANY THE BACKGROUND CHECKS HOW GOOD THEY MAYBE WOULD HAVE PREVENTED THE SITUATION.
I DO THINK WE HAVE TO REALIZE THESE MOTHERS DID SORT OF SUPPORT THEIR SONS TO HAVE GUNS TO BE A PART OF A GUN CULTURE.
>> AND THE OREGON SHOOTER'S DAD IS OPPOSED TO GUNS AND HIS MOTHER IS WHAT A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD REFER TO AS AN EXTREMIST IN THAT SHE HAS ALL THESE WEAPONS.
>> SHE WOULD HAVE PASSED BACKGROUND CHECKS.
BOTH THE MOTHERS IN BOTH SITUATIONS LIKELY WOULD HAVE MADE IT THROUGH THE BACKGROUND CHECKS.
>> NOT THE KIDS.
>> NOT THE KIDS.
>> THIS IS A ROLE FOR COMMUNITY.
THE REALITY IS THAT I'VE WORKED WITH MANY MENTALLY DAMAGED CHILDREN AND THEIR ILLNESS BECOMES APPARENT IN A TEENAGER.
AND THE COMMUNITY HAS TO BE A LITTLE MORE ENGAGED IN WATCHING OUT FOR THESE SITUATIONS.
>> YOU NEED COMMON SENSE IF YOU ARE A GUN COLLECTOR KEEP THEM OUT OF REACH OF YOUR KIDS.
A NINE-YEAR-OLD BOY SHOT A LITTLE GIRL LIKE A LOLLIPOP THEY WERE SIB LICKS AND KILLED HER.
IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE IN GUN COLLECTING MAKE SURETH THAT YOUR KIDS CANNOT REACH FOR THEM.
>> NO, IN THAT SITUATION, IN A SITUATION WHERE A MOTHER PROCURES A WEAPON LEGALLY AND GIVES IT BY THE WAY, THE OREGON SHOOTER HAD GUNS IN HIS ARSENAL THAT BELONGED TO HIS MOTHER.
YOU KNOW, THERE'S NO LAW THAT IS GOING TO PREVENT THAT?
>> IT HAS TO BE COMMUNITY.
IT HAS TO BE -- MORE, I THINK -- >> COMMUNITY BUT COME ON THERE'S COMMUNITY NOW.
I ACTUALLY WONDER -- >> THE DRUNK DRIVING STARTED WITH COMMUNITY PRESSURING.
IT LED TO LAWS.
BUT THERE WAS COMMUNITY PRESSURING SAYING YOU HAVE TO WATCH WHAT YOU DO IF YOU ARE DRINKING AND DRIVING IT'S GOING TO LEAD TO DEATH.
>> THERE ARE LAWS AGAINST MURDER.
THIS KID HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN ON THE AUTISTIC SPECTRUM ARE WE GOING TO SAY THAT EVERYONE WHO IS AUTISTIC IS NOT -- >> THAT IS RACIST WHEN IT IS A WHITE SHOOTER IT IS ABOUT YOUR METROPOLITAN TALL HEALTH BUT IF THE GUY WAS FROM IRAN IT WOULD BE A TERRORIST ACT.
>> HIS MOTHER IS WHITE AND THE VIRGINIA SHOOTER WAS BLACK.
AND IT CAME DOWN TO ACCESS TO GUNS BY MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE.
I HAVE TO ASK YOU: DO WE REALLY BELIEVE THAT A LAW BANNING THE BACKGROUND CHECKS FOR MEN -- BANNING -- I DO BELIEVE IF YOU'VE SEEN A PSYCHIATRIST YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BUY A GUN IF YOU ARE HONEST ABOUT IT WHEN YOU DO A BACKGROUND CHECK.
IS THAT GOING TO HAVE ANY IMPACT?
>> THAT WOULD BE ALSO A HORRIBLE PROBLEM BECAUSE FRANKLY WE WANT PEOPLE WHO HAVE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES TO GO SEEK CARE.
SO WE DON'T WANT TO PUT ANOTHER BARRIER TO SAY I BETTER NOT DO THAT BECAUSE IF THERE IS NOT A PROBLEM WITH IT, THEN YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO NOT GET HELP.
ON THE LARGER ISSUE, THOUGH, OBVIOUSLY WE NEED MORE COMMON SENSE REFORM ON A LOT OF THESE THINGS.
FRANK LIP -- >> WHAT IN YOUR MIND WOULD WORK?
>> LOOK, YOU KNOW, SHE BROUGHT UP THE ABORTION DEBATE AND WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE NRA I ARGUE BOTH ORGANIZATIONS END UP IN A WORLD WHERE EVERY COMMON SENSE REFORM IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE.
AND THEY ASSUME THAT MEANS THERE WILL NOT BE ACCESS TO ABORTIONS OR GUNS.
BOTH OF THOSE POSITIONS ARE EXTREMIST AND REALLY UNHELPFUL TO SOCIETY.
>> I'M CURIOUS WHY LIKE YOU MENTIONED COMMUNITY SUPPORT GREW INTO THE DRUNK DRIVING, I REMEMBER MOTHERS AGAINST DRUNK DRIVING WHICH STARTED IN THE 70s OR 80s.
WHY ISN'T THERE A MOTHERS GUNS AGAIN VIOLENCE?
>> THERE IS.
I FOLLOW THEM ON Facebook.
BUT I ALSO THINK MORE THAN THAT, I THINK THAT THE NRA LOBBY WE ARE BECOMING DESENSITIZED.
YOU THINK THERE WOULD BE SO MUCH GUN CONTROL AFTER SANDY HOOK.
LOOK WHERE WE ARE TODAY.
>> AS OF THE 274TH DAY OF THIS YEAR WHICH WAS A WEEK AGO, THERE WERE 294 MASS SHOOTINGS.
>> DID YOU SEE THE CHART THAT OBAMA ASKS JOURNALISTS TO DO ABOUT DEATHS FROM AMERICANS ON TERRORISM OPPOSED TO GUN CONTROL IT WAS 310 TO TERRORISM AND 350,000 DEATHS FOR GUN CONTROL.
>> YET AT THE SAME TIME GUN VIOLENCE IS AT AN HISTORIC LOW.
>> NO, MURDERS ARE WAY UP.
GUN-RELATED MURDERS ARE WAY UP.
>> AND THIS IS OVERALL SOCIETY NOT JUST ABOUT THE GUNS.
ONE OF THE THINGS THAT IS REAL, IS WE ARE STILL DEALING WITH ECONOMIC PROBLEMS IN THIS COUNTRY.
THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE OUT OF WORK.
THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS IN WHICH OUR SOCIETY RIGHT NOW IS DISTRESSED.
AND GUNS ARE THE ANSWER TO SOME -- >> TO YOUR POINT THAT RELATES TO MENTAL HEALTH.
>> THANK YOU.
LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.
FOLLOW US ON TWITTER @BONNIEERBE.
INVESTORS ON THE REALITY TV SHOW SHARK TANK ARE KNOWN FOR THEIR CANDOR WITH THE ENTREPRENEURS ON THE PROGRAM SEEKING FUNDING AND A PARTNERSHIP.
BUT THIS WEEK THE SHOW ENTERED THE DEBATE ABOUT WORKING WOMEN WHEN ONE OF THE STAR FINANCIERS, BARBARA CORCORAN CHASTISED A FEMALE CONTESTANT FOR CRYING IN FRONT OF THE PANEL.
MIKKI BEY BECAME EMOTIONAL WHEN SHE DID NOT SECURE A DEAL FOR HER COMPANY.
CORCORAN TOLD HER SHE WAS GIVING AWAY HER POWER AS A WOMAN WHEN SHE CRIED PUBLICLY.
BEY DISAGREED PUBLICLY WRITING ONLINE (FOR THE HUFFINGTON POST) ABOUT DIFFERENCES IN HOW MEN AND WOMEN ARE PERCEIVED AT WORK.
REACTION TO BEY ONLINE HAS BEEN GENERALLY POSITIVE.
BUT CRITICS SAY IT ISN'T ABOUT GENDER ITS JUST ABOUT BEING PROFESSIONAL AND THAT TEARS BELONG OUTSIDE OF THE OFFICE.
>> ASH, IS THERE ANY CONTEXT WITHIN WHICH IT IS OK FROM YOUR PERSPECTIVE FOR PEOPLE TO CRY, WOMEN TO CRY IN THE OFFICE?
>> I THINK IF YOU LEARN OF A DEATH IN THE FAMILY POSSIBLY.
BUT IT'S RIGHT, IT IS ABOUT BEING PROVAL IN THE WORKPLACE.
AND CRYING DOES NOT SUIT HER.
I THINK SHE WAS FINE ON A REALITY TV SHOW.
METROPOLITAN HAVE CRIED ON THAT -- MEN HAVE CRIED ON THAT SHOW AS WELL BUT AGAIN, PROFESSIONALISM.
>> WERE THE MEN CRITICIZED?
>> NOT THAT I SAW SO THAT DOES APPEAR TO BE A DOUBLE STANDARD.
>> AND CERTAINLY WE HAVE SEEN SPEAKER BOEHNER CRY AND -- >> HE GETS RIBBED FOR IT, TOO.
>> WHEN RONALD REAGAN CRIED AFTER THE CHALLENGER DISASTER, HE DID NOT GET RIBBED FOR IT.
>> I DO THINK PEOPLE HAVE TO BE ALLOWED TO SHOW FULL RANGE OF EMOTION AND THE IDEA OF PROFESSIONALISM MEANS YOU ARE AN ICE QUEEN IS NOT APPROPRIATE EITHER.
I ARGUE THIS IS ABOUT CONTEXT.
YOU DO NOT WANT TO HAVE LIKE A REPUTATION AS BEING A CRYER OR A YELLER OR ANYTHING OVERLY EMOTIONAL.
BUT AT THE SAME TIME THERE ARE SITUATIONS WHERE YOU KNOW, SORT OF EMOTIONS ARE APPROPRIATE.
>> TEARS ARE FOR TRAGEDY.
I THINK IN THE WORKPLACE ONE SHOULD ACCEPT ASSUMING THEY ARE A PROFESSIONAL THAT YOU WILL BE CHALLENGED AND HAVE DISAPPOINTMENTS AND SUCCESSES.
AND IN THE MIDST OF DISAPPOINTMENTS YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO HOLD YOUR COOL AND GO OUTSIDE AND CRY AND COME BACK INTO THE WORKPLACE.
>> I WORKED WITH A WOMEN'S NONPROFIT AND WE WERE DEALING WITH SEX TRAFFICS AND COMFORT WOMEN.
SOMETIMES IT IS OK TO CRY AT WORK BUT THIS IS A SPECIFIC CASE.
SHARK TANK IS ABOUT THE BUSINESS WORLD AND IT WAS FUNNY MY HUSBAND IS A FAN OF THE SHOW AND WE WERE DEBATING THIS AND THE FIRST TIME I AGREED, HE SAID MALE OR FEMALE IN BUSINESS YOU START CRYING YOU GIVE UP YOUR POWER.
>> IT WAS A WOMAN CRITICIZING ANOTHER WOMAN FOR CRYING AND YOU DO NOT SEE THAT.
>> AND TO BE FAIR, THE EYELASH EXTENSION LADY WAS NOT ANSWERING THE JUDGE'S QUESTIONS.
THEY STARTED CROSS-EXAMINING HER AND SHE IS LIKE.
.
AND IT WAS LIKE YOU ARE CLEARLY EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE.
IT WAS JUST A PLOY IN A SENSE ALMOST.
>> I FELT LIKE SHE OVERREACTED.
>> IS THERE A DOUBLE STANDARD?
IS IT WORSE FOR WOMEN IF THEY CRY?
>> LET ME SHARE WITH YOU.
MEN ARE LESS LIKELY NO QUESTION.
>> THE PRESSURE TELLING NOT TO EVER CRY.
>> IF A MALE BOSS CRIES IN THE OFFICE IT IS PROBABLY MORE UNNERVING TO THE STAFF THAN CRITICALLY VIEWED.
>> I'VE CRIED IN THE OFFICE BEFORE I TRY TO KEEP IT TO A MINIMUM BUT SOMETIMES SOMETHING HAPPENED AND LUCKILY I'VE BEEN WORKING WITH MEN WHO SAY LET'S GET IT TOGETHER AND COME BACK OR TAKE A WALK.
AGAIN, IF I SAW ONE OF MY MALE BOSSES CRYING I WOULD BE LIKE DUDE, COME ON.
MAN UP.
>> MORE OF A DOUBLE STANDARD BUT IN THE OTHER DIRECTION.
SHE WRITES THE WOMAN WHO CRIED BEING TOO FEMINISM IS NOT CONSIDERED PROFESSOR AT YET BEHAVING AGGRESSIVELY IS EQUALLY FROWNED UPON.
IS THAT TRUE, TOO?
>> IT DEPENDS HOW AGGRESSIVE YOU ARE ACTING.
IF YOU ARE AGGRESSIVE TO THE POINT OF BEING OVERBEARING A MAN WILL BE CALLED A JERK AND A WOMAN WILL BE CALLED SOMETHING ELSE.
>> BUT WOMEN HAVE IT HARD IT IS A STEREOTYPE WE WERE TOO EMOTIONAL.
EVERYONE WAS LIKE HILLARY CLINTON HAS NO EMOTIONS AND SHE STARTED CRYING WHEN SHE WAS CAMPAIGNING AND SHE WAS AN EMOTIONAL MESS.
>> I DO NOT THINK WE SHOULD NOT ASSOCIATE NOT CRYING WITH BEING POWERFUL.
POWER WHEN YOU GET INTO IT IS ABOUT MANY MORE THINGS WHICH INCLUDE BEING VULNERABLE AND SHOWING YOUR STRENGTH THROUGH THAT VULNERABILITY.
SO YOU KNOW THERE ARE TIMES WHEN IT'S INCREDIBLY POWERFUL TO HAVE A REACTION THAT NO ONE WOULD EXPECT YOU TO HAVE AND THAT OFTENTIMES CAN WORK IN YOUR FAVOR IN WAYS OF BEING PREDICTABLE AND COLD MAY NOT.
>> NOW, I WONDER IN THE SHOW, THE PRODUCERS FORMER PANELIST OF OURS WAS A PANELIST ON MARTHA STEWART'S THE APPRENTICE, AND SHE WAS TOLD BY THE PRODUCERS YOU DO NOT GET INTO THE FIGHTS YOU WILL BE TOSSED OFF THE SHOW IF YOU DON'T START FIGHTING WITH PEOPLE YOU ARE TOO NICE.
MAYBE BEY WAS TOLD SHOW EMOTION AND CRY.
>> YOU HAVE TO WATCH.
>> IF PARENTS HAVE TO -- IF PARENTS SHOULD BE PREPARING KIDS NOT ABOUT THE SHARK TANK AND THE SHOW BUT IN GENERAL, SHOULD THEY BY PREPPING KIDS ESPECIALLY GIRLS WHEN YOU ARE IN AN OFFICE SITUATION JUST WHAT YOU SAID WHICH IS THE ONE TIME IN MY LIFE WHEN I WAS FIRED EXACTLY WHAT I DID.
I HELD MY TEARS AND I RAN DOWNSTAIRS AND FOUND WENT INTO A RESTAURANT BATHROOM AND CRIED.
>> I'M QUOTING CHERYL SANDBURG AND WOMEN LEADERS SAY LOOK WHEN YOU ARE A LEADER WHEN YOU ARE IN A POWERFUL POSITION SHOW YOUR EMOTION OUTSIDE AND COME BACK AND DEAL WITH THE CHALLENGES BY THINKING THROUGH.
DO NOT GET OFF PUT BY A DISAPPOINTMENT IN AN OFFICE.
TRAGEDY IS DIFFERENT.
TRAGEDY EVERYONE CAN GRAVITATE TOWARDS.
WHEN YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT A BUSINESS DISAPPOINTMENT THAT WAS BARBARA'S POINT AND I THINK WHETHER YOU ARE MALE OR FEMALE WOMEN TAKE HEED.
SILENCE IS MUCH MORE POWERFUL THAN ANYTHING ELSE.
WORDS OR TEARS.
>> EXACTLY.
BEHIND THE HEADLINES: THE GOLDEN GIRLS NETWORK.
AS THE BABY BOOMERS HIT RETIREMENT AGE, MANY PEOPLE WANT TO CREATE NEW RETIREMENT LIVING SITUATIONS.••PARTICULARLY UNMARRIED OR WIDOWED WOMEN WHO DON'T WANT TO LIVE ALONE.
THE GOLDEN GIRLS NETWORK PROMOTES SHARED LIVING FOR ECONOMIC AS WELL AS PERSONAL REASONS.
>> YOU THINK THAT IS ANNOYING?
SHE CAME INTO MY ROOM LAST NIGHT WHEN I WAS REENACTING THE GANG PLANK SCENE FROM PETER PAN.
>> WHAT THE HELL GOES ON INSIDE THIS HOUSE?
>> THE GOLDEN GIRLS IS THE INSPIRATION FOR THE GOLDEN GIRLS NETWORK WHICH HELPS MIDDLE-AGED PEOPLE FIND ROOMMATES THEIR OWN AGE.
ACCORDING TO BONNIE MOORE THAT LIVING ARRANGEMENT IS BECOMING MORE POPULAR.
UP WITH IN THREE BOOMERS IS UNMARRIED AND SINGLE BOOMERS ARE MAINLY WOMEN.
>> WOMEN FIND THEMSELVES SINGLE WHEN THEY WERE NOT EXPECTING TO BE.
THEY DO NOT HAVE THE INCOME TO SUPPORT THEMSELVES IN THEIR RETIREMENT AND WOMEN TEND TO BE MORE SOCIAL.
AND THEY GRAVITATE TOWARDS LIVING TOGETHER.
WE DO HAVE MEN REGISTERED WITH GOLDEN GIRLS NETWORK.
AND WE HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH MEN AND WOMEN SETTING UP A HOUSEHOLD TOGETHER.
IT JUST SEEMS TO RESONATE MORE WITH WOMEN.
>> MOORE LIVES IN A GOLDEN GIRLS ARRANGEMENT WITH FIVE ROOMMATES.
AND HELPS WOMEN INTERESTED IN JOINING A GOLDEN GIRLS HOME AND TEACHES CLASSES ON MANAGING THE HOMES.
NOW THERE IS A BOOK.
>> I STARTED TAKING MY EXPERIENCES AND WHAT I KNEW ABOUT BEING A LANDLORD AND PUTTING THEM TOGETHER TO HAVE MATERIAL EACH WEEK FOR MY CLASS.
AND I PULLED ALL OF THAT TOGETHER AND WROTE A BOOK.
>> MOST WOMEN WHO JOIN THE NETWORK ARE SINGLE AND MANY LIVING ON FIXED INCOMES.
>> WHAT TENDS TO HAPPEN IS YOU CUT YOUR HOUSING COST IN HALF.
I HAVE HAD SEVERAL WOMEN WHO MOVED IN WITH ME WHO HAVE BEEN LIVING IN APARTMENTS, AND THEY WERE PAYING 1700, A MONTH AND MOVED IN HERE AND PAID 700, 800.
RIGHT THERE, IT IS A MAJOR IMPROVEMENT ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE LIVING ON A FIXED INCOME.
>> SAVE ASSOCIATION NOT THE ONLY REASON WOMEN JOIN A GOLDEN GIRLS HOME.
>> THE OTHER ASPECT IS COMPANIONSHIP.
YOU ARE NOT COMING HOME TO AN EMPTY HOUSE.
YOU WALK IN THE DOOR AND SOMEBODY SAYS HI HOW WAS YOUR DAY AND YOU HAVE SOMEONE TO CHAT WITH OVER COFFEE AND YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON AND YOU CAN TALK ABOUT IT AND THAT IS AN IMPORTANT SOCIAL ASPECT OF AGING IS TO HAVE COMPANIONSHIP.
>> I LIKE THE SITUATION BECAUSE IT SAVES MONEY AND THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE ALONE AND THERE WERE PEOPLE TO TALK TOMENT BUT I LIKE THE FREEDOM.
THE ONLY THING I WORRY ABOUT IS PAYING THAT ONE BILL AND I CAN COME AND GO.
>> SHE IS ONE OF THE HOUSE MATES.
>> WE ARE ALL MATURE WOMEN AND EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING ELSE GOING ON THEIR LIVES.
AND I LIKE CHITCHAT SOMETIMES WHEN I'M COOKING OR DISCUSSING WHAT SOMEBODY ELSE IS DOING.
>> ACCORDING TO THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH 70% OF PEOPLE OVER 65 WILL NEED SOME FORM OF LONG-TERM CARE.
GOLDEN GIRLS HOMES PROVIDE AN ALTERNATIVE SOURCE OF CARE FOR THOSE WHO PREFER TO STAY IN THEIR OWN HOMES.
[♪♪♪] >> WE'RE SO ALIVE AND VERY VIBRANT.
AND I'VE GOT ANOTHER 20 YEARS AGO.
I DON'T WANT TO JUST SHUFFLE OFF SOMEPLACE AND BE FORGOTTEN.
I WANT TO BE PART OF THE COMMUNITY.
I LIKE THIS TOWN THAT I LIVE IN.
AND I ENJOY MY HOUSE.
AND I ENJOY THE COMMUNITY.
AND I WANT TO STAY HERE.
>> SO IS IT MORE OF AN ECONOMIC HELP OR MORE OF AN EMOTIONAL HELP THAT DRIVES WOMEN TO JOIN THESE HOMES OR BOTH?
>> I IMAGINE IT'S BOTH AND I THINK IT'S FANTASTIC.
THE REALITY IS THE BOOMER WOMEN ARE IN EVERY SORT OF WAY, NOT LIKE THEIR PARENTS.
RIGHT?
WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE ADVERTISING THAT IS FOR PEOPLE GETTING TO BE BOOMERS, THEY ALL WANT TO BE ON SURFBOARDS AND TREKKING ACROSS TERRAIN AND THEY ARE MUCH MORE ACTIVE AND MUCH MORE ENGAGED THAN THEIR PARENTS' GENERATION.
AND WHAT THIS DOES IS AFFORD THEM AN ABILITY TO STAY IN THEIR COMMUNITIES, BE ENGAGED WITH THEIR COMMUNITIES AND HAVE MORE FRIENDS.
>> I THINK IT'S GREAT.
I THINK IT'S GREAT.
I LOVE THE GOLDEN GIRLS AND THE BRANDING IS LIKE I WANT TO LIVE IN ONE OF THOSE HOMES.
WHEN I MOVED HERE FROM BANGLADESH SO LONG AGO I WAS SHOCKED AT THE ELDERLY CARE SYSTEM IN AMERICA.
HOW CAN YOU NOT TAKE YOUR PARENTS IN?
>> MOST AMERICAN KIDS DO NOT WANT TO.
>> AND IT'S NOT FEASIBLE EVERYONE IS WORKING.
SO I UNDERSTAND IT.
>> I HAVE TO POINT OUT THAT ELEANOR ROOSEVELT WHEN SHE RETIRED IN NEW YORK CITY MOVED INTO A DOCTOR'S TOWNHOUSE.
SHE HAD WHAT?
SIX KIDS.
FOUR OR SIX CHILDREN.
AND THEY DIDN'T WANT HER OR SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BE WITH THEM.
>> THAT INTERESTING.
THE DISINTEGRATION OF THE FAMILY LIVING TOGETHER MAY INDEED BE CONSTRUCTED INTO THE FRIENDSHIP NETWORK HERE.
AND THERE ARE FEW ISSUES THAT HAVE MOSTLY POSITIVES AND FEW NEGATIVES.
>> LIKE WHEN YOU ARE IN COLLEGE AND YOUR GIRLFRIENDS TAKE THE ROLE OF YOUR FAMILY.
WHEN I WAS GROWING UP MY MOM AND DAD LIVED WITH US, SO FOR ME, I ALWAYS TELL MY MOM YOU HAVE TO LIVE WITH ME.
>> WHAT WAS IT LIKE?
>> IT WAS GREAT.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE FOR MY PARENTS THEY WERE SUPPORTIVE BACK HOME THAT IS NOT AN OPTION.
WE DON'T HAVE ELDERLY CARE HOMES.
SOMEONE HAS TO TAKE THEIR PARENTS IN.
>> ISN'T THERE AN ELEMENT THAT WOMEN MORE THAN MEN, BECAUSE THEY TEND TO RETIRE, UNLESS WAY LESS THAN MEN ON AVERAGE, DON'T THEY NEED MORE FINANCIAL EDUCATION SO THEY DON'T GET TO RETIREMENT AGE AND LIVE ON A FIXED INCOME THAT IS NOT ENOUGH TO SUPPORT THEM?
>> IT'S NOT EVEN GOING TO BE AN ISSUE JUST FOR WOMEN.
WE ARE SEEING STUDIES THAT SAY PEOPLE MY AGE ARE JUST THINKING THEY WILL BE FINE YEARS FROM NOW OR THAT MEDICAID OR SOCIAL SECURITY IS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THEM AND IT'S NOT GOING TO BE THERE.
I MEAN IT'S FINANCIAL EDUCATION FOR EVERYONE.
WOMEN NOW AS WELL IF YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE 40, 50, GET AN IDEA OF THIS BUT YOU NEED TO START WHEN WE ARE YOUNG.
MORE WOMEN WORKING AND WE GOT TO BE PREPARED.
>> BUT YOU RAISE A GOOD POINT BECAUSE THE AVERAGE SAVINGS FOR RETIREMENT IN THIS COUNTRY FOR PEOPLE OVER 50 BARELY TOTALS $100,000.
SO IF THE AGE -- IS 86, OR OLDER, THE RETIREMENT SAVINGS ISSUE IS CRITICAL.
THESE COULD BE ONE OF THE FIRST STEPS THAT START TO ADDRESS THAT ISSUE.
>> AS YOU TALKED ABOUT WOMEN BEING MORE RISK-AVERSE THEY ARE MORE LIKELY TO SPEND MONEY ON THEIR KIDS THAN MEN AND LESS LIKELY TO SAVE IT FOR RETIREMENT.
THAT IS IT FOR THIS EDITION.
FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER AND VISIT OUR WEBSITE, PBS.ORG/TOTHECONTRARY.
AND WHETHER YOU AGREE OR THINK TO THE CONTRARY, SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!
[♪♪♪] FOR A TRANSCRIPT OR TO SEE AN ON-LINE VERSION OF THIS EPISODE OF TO THE CONTRARY VISIT OUR WEBSITE AT PBS.ORG/TOTHECONTRARY.
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