State of the World's Fathers; HeForShe; #TheNew10

CHARLES A. FRUEAUFF FOUNDATION.

>> THIS WEEK ON TO THE CONTRARY... FIRST, THIS FATHER'S DAY WE TAKE A LOOK AT THE STATE OF THE WORLD'S FATHERS WITH A PANEL OF FATHERS.

THEN THE PROGRESS OF THE U.N.'S HEFORSHE CAMPAIGN AND A WOMAN'S FACE ON THE $10 BILL.

[♪♪♪] HELLO I'M BONNIE ERBE WELCOME TO TO THE CONTRARY A DISCUSSION OF NEWS AND SOCIAL TRENDS FROM DIVERSE PERSPECTIVES.

WE GYP WITH THE FIRST STATE OF THE WORLD'S FATHER'S REPORT.

AROUND THE GLOBE FATHERS' ROLES ARE CHANGING RAPIDLY.

ACCORDING TO THE MEN CARE CAMPAIGN WHICH PRODUCED THE REPORT FATHERS CAN BE VITAL IN ACHIEVING GENDER EQUALITY BUT ONLY WITH THE RIGHT SUPPORT.

>> WE WANTED TO PUT OUT A GLOBAL CALL FOR HOW DO WE GET MEN MORE INVOLVED IN CARE GIVING?

>> GARY BARKER IS A FATHER AND THE FOUNDER OF PRO PRO PROMUNDO ONE OF THE ORGANIZATIONS BEHIND THE MEN CARE CAMPAIGN.

>> THE WORLD DOES NOT PAY A LOT OF ATTENTION TO THE MACHINE'S CARE.

>> 80% OF PEN WILL BECOME FATHERS AND WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A FATHER IS EVOLVING BUT GOVERNMENT POLICY, PUBLIC DISCOURSE AND RESEARCH PROJECTS ARE NOT ALWAYS KEEPING UP.

THE MEN CARE CAMPAIGN WAS DESIGNED TO BRIDGE THE GAP WITH AN INDEPTH REPORT ON FATHERHOOD ACROSS THE WORLD.

>> OF ALL THE RESEARCH INTO CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND WOMEN'S TIME USE WE DON'T MEASURE OR COUNT MEN'S.

ONE FINDING IS WE DON'T HAVE NEARLY AS MUCH INFORMATION AS WE NEED.

>> WHY IS IT IMPORTANT FOR FATHERS TO PLAY A ROLETH THEIR CHILDREN'S LIFE?

>> ALTHOUGH WE DON'T THINK ABOUT IT AS MUCH, MEN MATTER A HUGE AMOUNT FOR WHETHER CHILDREN FINISH SCHOOL AND WHETHER THEIR SONS RESPECT WOMEN AND DAUGHTERS ARE EMPOWERED.

NO MATTER WHERE WE LOOK MEN DO MATTER FOR THE LIVES OF HER CHILDREN.

>> NOT ONLY DOES INVOLVED FATHERHOOD HELPS CHILDREN IT HELPS FATHERS THEMSELVES.

>> MEN WHO REPORT CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS WITH CHILDREN WHETHER BIOLOGICAL OR OTHERWISE OR OTHER CARE GIVING RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE THEY ARE HEALTHIER, HAPPIER, THEIR MENTAL HEALTH IS BETTER AND LESS LIKELY TO ABUSE SUBSTANCES.

>> NEW DATA TELL US FATHER'S BODIES RELEASE HORMONES WHEN IN CONTACT WITH CHILDREN IN THE SAME WAY WE KNEW WHO MOTHER'S BODIES REACT.

>> WOMEN ARE NATURALLY BETTER AT IT WOMEN HAVE BEEN DOING IT FOR LONGER BUT MEN ARE NATURALLY CAPABLE.

WE NEED MEN TO GO HOME AND SAY THE LIFE AT HOME MATTERS AS MUCH AS WHAT YOU DO OUTSIDE OF THE HOME.

AT THE WORKPLACE IN THE SPACES WHERE WE GIVE MEN AND WOMEN KUDOS FOR WHAT THEY DO OUTSIDE THE HOME WE NEED TO SAY GO HOME YOU ARE DONE HERE.

YOU HAVE FOLKS WAITING FOR YOU.

GO WITH WITH THEM.

>> BARKER HAS SUGGESTIONS FOR FATHERS TO HELP THEM BE PART OF THE SOLUTION.

>> PUT THE TIME IN.

FRANKLY BY BEING PRESENT IN THE EVERYDAY TASKS OF CARING FOR CHILDREN, WE'RE CONTRIBUTING TO GENDER EQUALITY AND SONS WHO BELIEVE THAT WOMEN AND MEN ARE EQUAL AND WE'RE CONTRIBUTING TO EMPOWER DAUGHTERS THAT DON'T THINK THEIR ROLE IS ONLY AS A CAREGIVER.

AND A FULL LIVES THAT THEY DESERVE AND WE'RE SO USED TO AS FATHERS ARRIVING FOR THE FUN STUFF.

AND I SAY MUCH OF THE WORLD IS STILL DAD ARRIVES AND IT'S PLAYTIME AND THAT IS FANTASTIC AND THAT IS A EARN FATHER ONE OF THE MOST MEANINGFUL THINGS ARE THOSE MOMENTS BUT THE DAILY CARE THAT WE ALSO HAVE TO PUT OUR HANDS IN AND DO.

>> THIS WEEK FOR FATHER'S DAY WE HAVE ASSEMBLED AN ALL MALE ALL DAD PANEL.

JOE JONES IS THE FOUNDER OF THE CENTER FOR URBAN FAMILIES IN BALTIMORE.

CHRIS JOHNSON SERVES ON THE U.S. AFRICAN WOMEN'S COUNCIL.

DAVID MARTOSKO POLITICAL EDITOR AT THE DAILY MAIL AND COLBY KING POLICERPOLICERKING.

HOW QUICKLY ARE FATHERS GETTING INVOLVED IN DAILY CARE AND IS IT FAST ENOUGH FOR YOU?

>> WELL, I THINK AS DEFINITELY A DIFFERENCE FROM JUST FIVE OR 10 YEARS AGO WHEN IT WAS ALMOST ODD TO SEE A GUY BEING A CAREGIVER WITH THE -- WHERE HE CAN CARRY THE BABY ON THE FRONT.

>> SLING.

>> THE CONVERSATION AMONG MEN IS CHANGING IN TERMS IF A DAD IS HOME WITH HIS CHILD HE IS NO LONGER BABYSITTING HE IS PARENTING.

AND CHANGING THAT NARRATIVE.

AND IF YOU LOOK AT LAST YEAR'S SUPER BOWL, THERE WERE MULTIPLE ADS THAT FOCUSED ON THE POSITIVE NARRATIVE AROUND FATHERS INVOLVED IN THE LIVES OF THEIR CHILDREN.

I THINK WHAT WE HAVE IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO CHANGE THE WAY IN WHICH WE HAVE SOCIALIZED MEN IN OUR COUNTRY GOING BACK TO THE FOUNDING OF THE COUNTRY WHERE WE WERE EXPECTED TO GO TO WORK, TO GO TO WAR AND BE PROVIDERS AND PROTECTORS MANY AND IF WE WERE A NURTURER YOU WERE CAST ASIDE.

AND SO I THINK NOW WE HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO BUILD ON THAT NARRATIVE AND MAKE SURE THAT DADS ARE RECOGNIZED FOR THE COMPLIMENTARY VALUE THEY BRING TO RAISING OUR COUNTRY'S CHILDREN.

>> COLBY YOU ARE A GRANDFATHER OF SEVEN.

HOW HAVE THINGS CHANGED SINCE YOU WERE A YOUNG DAD?

>> ACTUALLY MY LIFE WAS DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHERS.

I GREW UP IN A FAMILY WHERE MEN HAD STRONG AND VERY CLEAR ROLES IN THE FAMILY.

AND THEY WERE CAREGIVERS.

I'M TALKING ABOUT MY GRANDFATHER AND MY FATHER.

THEY ALSO COOKED.

AS I COOK.

>> OTHER THAN THE GRILL?

I HAVE TO -- >> I DO ALL OF THE MEALS IN THE FAMILY.

BECAUSE MY WIFE WENT INTO THE WORKFORCE, AND I STARTED LOOKING OUT FOR THE KIDS.

AND WHEN SHE TRAVELED I WOULD COOK.

AT ONE POINT, THE KIDS SAID MOM DON'T COOK ANYMORE.

[LAUGHTER] AND SHE WAS HAPPY WITH THAT BECAUSE SHE DID NOT LIKE TO COOK ANYWAY.

THE IMPORTANT THING ABOUT A FATHER IS A MAN MUST BE THERE.

BE THERE AS A FIRST STEP.

IF HE IS NOT THERE, ALL THE OTHER THINGS THAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT WON'T WORK.

AND EVEN IF HE IS EMPLOYED AND MAKING A LOT OF MONEY THERE'S NO COMPENSATION FOR HIS ABSENCE.

NO AMOUNT OF MONEY CAN TAKE PLACE OF THE ABSENCE.

AND THAT PERSON IS THE MODEL.

KIDS LEARN FROM WHAT THEY SEE HOW THE FATHER INTERACTS WITH THE MOTHER.

HOW THE TWO PARENTS INTERACT.

THE ROLE THAT THE FATHER PLAYS IN THE HOUSE.

IS WHAT THIS KIDS WILL EMULATE.

IF THE FATHER IS A CAREGIVER, FATHER IS A NURTURER, YOU CAN BET THOSE KIDS WILL BE THE SAME WAY.

>> IS THAT YOUR EXPERIENCE, DAVID?

>> WELL, I HAD VARIED EXPERIENCES WITH FATHERHOOD GROWING UP.

I AM ESTRANGED FROM MY FATHER NOW THERE IS A LOT OF HISTORY THERE.

BUT I HAD GRANDFATHERS WHO WERE TRADITIONAL BREAD WINNERS CAME HOME AND HAD LITTLE CONTACT WITH THEIR KIDS.

I'M JUST DIFFERENT.

I SWUNG THE PENDULUM THE OTHER WAY.

YES, IF I HAD A DIFFERENT ROLE MODEL.

BUT I'M DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT FROM MY FAMILY HISTORY BUT I FOUND IT UNSATISFACTORY.

I'M AROUND MY DAUGHTERS.

WHEN I TRAVEL TO COVER POLITICAL CAMPAIGNS THEY SEND ME WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL AS A PROXY AND I TAKE PICTURES OF THEM ALL OVER THE WORLD.

BUT COLBY IS RIGHT.

I THINK IN THIS COUNTRY IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WE DO NOT SUFFER AS MUCH FROM A DEFICIT OF CARE GIVING BY FATHERS IN THE HOUSEHOLD BUT WE SUFFER FROM A DEVASTATING DEFICIT FROM FATHERS AROUND AT ALL.

AND ADDRESSING THAT STUFF WILL NOT COME ABOUT THROUGH A U.N.

SPONSORED REPORT OR A TELEVISION SHOW.

IT WILL COME ABOUT WHEN WE CHANGE THINGS LIKE THE TAX CODE AND ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO STAY MARRIED AND CHANGE THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM AND PROGRAM THAT CAN LET FATHERS WHO MADE STUPID MISTAKES WITH LOW LEVELS OF DRUGS GO HOME WITH THEIR FAMILIES.

THOSE ARE FAR MORE IMPORTANT THAN A REPORT TELLING US WHAT WE KNOW IS THAT IT MATTERS IF YOU SHOW UP AND PLAY TO YOUR KIDS AND COOK TO ARE THEM AND PLAY WITH THEM AND READ TO THEM.

BUT THEY ONLY COUNT IF YOU ARE IN THE FAMILY IN THE FIRST PLACE.

>> DO YOU AGREE, CHRIS?

YOU ARE A SINGLE DAD BY CHOICE?

>> I HAVE A DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE THAN ALL OF YOU.

I'M SINGLE AND RAISING MY DAUGHTER WHO IS NOW TWO-AND-A-HALF YEARS OLD BY MYSELF.

I DO NOT HAVE A NANNY.

I DO IT ON MY OWN.

I CHANGED MY LIFE TO WORK FROM HOME SO I COULD RAISE HER HANDS ON.

I DID NOT EXPECT IT IN THE BEGINNING.

I THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE A NANNY AND SUPPORT.

BUT AS SOON AS THEY PUT HER INTO MY ARMS MY HEART CHANGED AND I HAD TO TAKE ON THE RESPONSIBILITY.

AND SHE IS THRIVING.

SHE IS SPECTACULAR IN EVERY WAY AND SO AM I.

IT'S CHANGED EVERYTHING ABOUT MY LIFE AND THE MOST POSITIVE MANNER.

SO THIS REPORT AND THE BENEFITS THAT THEY MENTION TO FATHERS WHO ARE CARETAKERS ARE ACTIVE I AM A LIVING EXAMPLE OF THAT TRUTH.

>> I HAVE TO TELL YOU MANY, MANY YEARS AGO DURING THE "DOT COM" BUST I WAS WITH MY FRIENDS AND WE WERE HAVING COFFEE IN THIS OUTSIDE THIS CAFE WHERE WE WERE IN A BEAUTIFUL SPOT LOOKING OVER THE WATER WHERE DADS WITH THEIR BABY CARRIAGES AND THEIR YOUNG CHILDREN.

AND I SAID TIM LOOK AT THAT.

CALIFORNIA IS SO FARRED AHEAD OF WASHINGTON D.C.

THESE KIDS ARE ALL BEING THE DADS ARE THE PRIMARY CAREGIVERS AND THEY SAID NO, WE ARE NOT SO EVOLVED BELIEVE ME.

THOSE ARE THE "DOT COM" BUST DADS WHO ARE OUT OF WORK RIGHT NOW.

HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE?

AND THIS IS AS I SAY WHEN WAS THE "DOT COM" BUST?

15, 20 YEARS AGO.

HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE BEFORE AMERICAN MEN GET IT?

AND WHAT KIND -- YOU ARE WORKING AT LOCAL LEVEL AND CERTAIN MUCH-NEEDED NEIGHBORHOODS WHERE YOUR HELP IS NEEDED.

BUT HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE BEFORE WE SEE FATHERS EVOLVE TO THE POINT WHERE YOU TRAIN THEM TO BE?

>> I THINK WE ARE DOING THAT.

YOU NEED TO TAKE A HAPPY FATHER'S DAY EVERYBODY.

WE CANNOT LEAVE WITHOUT THAT.

COME ON NOW.

YOU KNOW, THE GUYS I WORK WITH ARE LOW INCOME DADS, RIGHT?

AND YOU'RE A DATA GUY AND YOU APPRECIATE THIS.

AND THE THREE ZIP CODES AND MY BUILDING IS RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE CHURCH WHERE FREDDIE GRAY'S FUNERAL WAS HELD.

AND THOSE THREE ZIP OWED CODES THERE ARE 2400 MEN WHO OWE 24 MILLION IN CHILD SUPPORT.

DEBT ASSOCIATED WITH THE MOM RECEIVING PUBLIC BENEFITS.

WE HAVE WORKED WITH OUR STATE LEGISLATURE TO FIGURE OUT HOW DO WE GET THE DEBT OFF THE BACKS OF THOSE GUYS AND GET THEM INTO THE LABOR FORCE AND TO HAVE THEM PAY ON THE ORDER AND MODIFY SO THEY CAN PAY IT BASED ON THEIR CURRENT INCOME SYSTEM AND GETS ADJUSTED.

TO YOUR POINT ABOUT FAMILY FORMATION ONE OF THE THINGS WE HAVE REALLY ARGUED FOR IS THE FACT THAT WHEN A POOR WOMAN WHO IS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A POOR GUY AND THEY BECOME PREGNANT THEY APPROACH THE WELFARE OFFICE FOR TEMPORARY ASSISTANCE, THE SYSTEM DOESN'T DO A GOOD JOB AT ALL IN ENGAGING THE GUY AT THE TIME THAT SHE APPLIES FOR BENEFITS.

EXCEPT FOR THE NOTION OF CONNECTING HIM TO PATERNITY ESTABLISHMENT AND CHILD SUPPORT.

BUT WE SHOULD BE DOING IS YES HAVE THAT CONVERSATION AND TALK TO THEM ABOUT WANTING THEM TO BUILD THE FAMILY AND CREATING A PLACE TO DO IT SO THEY CAN LEARN THE RELATIONSHIP SKILLS AND DEAL WITH THE ECONOMIC CIRCUMSTANCES.

WHEN YOU BUNDLE THOSE TOGETHER YOU GET TO THE EQUATION PARTICULARLY FOR THAT DEMOGRAPHIC.

>> ARE YOU CALLING FOR CHANGES IN THE WELFARE SYSTEM MORE SUPPORT FOR FATHERS MORE SUPPORT TO GET FATHERS INVOLVED?

>> YES, ABSOLUTELY.

IN MARYLAND THROUGH ONE OF OUR STATE DELEGATES SANDY ROSENBURG WE GOT A BILL PASSED IN THE LEGISLATURE SIGNED BY THE GOVERNOR AND IT'S REQUIRING THE STATE WITH THE WELFARE OFFICE CHILD SUPPORT OFFICE AND COLLOCATED TO WORK WITH US AND THE FOUNDATION ON THE EVALUATION SIDE.

SO WE ARE MOVING THAT MARYLAND HOUSE BILL 333 IS NOW A LAW.

SO WE ARE EXCITED ABOUT THAT.

>> EXPLAIN FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DO.

WHAT DOES THE LAW REQUIRE.

WHAT HAPPENED WITH ALL LOW INCOME FATHERS.

>> IT REQUIRES THAT THE STATE WHEN THE MOM APPLIES FOR BENEFITS THAT SHE IS ELIGIBLE TO COME TO OUR CENTER, WITH HER PARTNER, TO GO THROUGH A SET OF SERVICES.

AND THERE IS A PROGRAM SIDE TO IT BUT THE SIDE IS SYSTEMS CHANGE.

TO GET THE BUREAUCRATIC SYSTEM TO ENGAGE HIM CLOSER TO THE TIME SHE APPLIES FOR BENEFITS AS OPPOSED TO AFTER THE FACT SO THIS POOR MOM HAS TO GO HOME AND HAVE AN ECONOMIC CONVERSATION TO THE PERSON, I GOT THE BENEFITS BUT I HAD TO GIVE YOU UP.

AS OPPOSED TO SAYING I HAD TO GIVE THEM INFORMATION ABOUT YOU BUT WE WILL HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT GETTING WORK SUPPORTS FOR YOU AS WELL AS WE BUILD OUR FAMILY AND TIE CHILD SUPPORT IN IT.

YOUR NOTION OF YOUR HEART CHANGING AND HAVING A NANNY WHEN YOU HOLD YOUR DAUGHTER.

FATHER'S PRESENCE MATTERS.

>> HOW DO WE CONVEY THAT?

YOU SAY MORE THAN IT HAS TO BE IN THE NEWS DOESN'T THERE HAVE TO BE NEWSPAPER COLUMN SOME -- DON'T THE MEDIA HAVE TO CHANGE THEIR ATTITUDE NOT JUST IN TV SHOWS NOT JUST IN NEWS SHOWS NOT JUST IN NEWSPAPERS BUT IN SITCOMS AND HOW WE PORTRAY FATHERS' ROLES PERIOD?

>> WE HAVE TO PORTRAY ROLES ACCURATELY.

AND YOU DO THAT YOU GET A MIXED PICTURE.

OR SOMETIMES AN AWFUL PICTURE.

I SAT DOWN WITH 15 YOUNG MEN AT THE CORRECTIONAL TREATMENT FACILITY IN THE DISTRICT.

ALL WERE COMMITTED HOMICIDES.

AND I ASKED THEM HOW MANY OF YOU ARE FATHERS THEY ARE YOUNG MEN?

AND MOST OF THEM RAISED THEIR HANDS AND I SAID OK HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU HAVE?

GUY SAID THREE.

I SAID OK. WHAT ARE THEIR AGES.

HE SAID THREE.

>> I SAID NO, YOU HAVE THREE KIDS BUT WHAT ARE THEIR AGES?

>> AND HE SAID THREE.

>> TRIPLETS?

>> NO.

>> THREE DIFFERENT WOMEN.

FATHERS COMPLETELY NOT ONLY DISCONNECTED FROM THE MOTHER, DISCONNECTED FROM THREE DIFFERENT CHILDREN AND THREE DIFFERENT WOMEN.

>> WHERE IS THE SHAME IN THIS.

WHAT ENTERTAINMENT CULTUREMENT I WOULD LOVE TO SEE A DRAMATIC TV SHOW ON CBS OR NBC WHERE A SITUATION LIKE THAT HAPPENS AND THAT PERSON IS SHAMED BY HIS COMMUNITY FOR MAKING THOSE CHOICES.

NOT JUST FOR BEING A MURDERER OF COURSE, BUT DON'T HAVE A CULTURE THAT SHAMES MEN WHO HAVE CHILDREN AND DISAPPEAR.

I'M NOT ARGUING FOR AN OZZIE AND HARRIET BUT THERE WAS A TIME WHEN THERE WAS TREMENDOUS SHAME ATTACHED TO THAT.

AND IT KEPT A LOT OF COUPLES NOT NEARLY ENOUGH BUT IT KEPT COUPLES TOGETHER.

MY GRANDPARENTS GENERATION WAS FULL OF THOSE STORIES.

MY GRANDFATHER HAD A REUNION AT THEIR HOUSE, AND I HEARD ALL THE STORIES WELL, WE GOT PREGNANT AND YOU HAD TO GET MARRIED.

AND BECAUSE OF THAT THEY HAD FAMILY COHESION AND A CHANCE TO BUILD A BLOODLINE WHO SAW THAT EXAMPLE BECAUSE THE CULTURE SAID YOU DID THIS NOW HERE IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO.

>> SHALL WE GO BACK TO GUNSHOT WEDDINGS?

>> ISN'T IT BETTER THAN FORCED SHOTGUN SINGLE PARENTING?

>> IN THIS DAY AND AGE THEY DO NOT LAST.

DIVORCE IS MORE POPULAR.

>> THAT IS A DIFFERENT SHOW.

>> BUT POINT TAKEN.

AND YOUR THOUGHTS ON THAT?

>> WELL, HOW ABOUT ALLOWING MEN TO OWN NURTURING AS A PRIMARY CARE RISK OF OUR BEHAVIOR.

IT WAS NOT FRONTLINE FOR ME UNTIL I BECAME A FATHER.

BUT NOW THAT I AM DAILY CARING FOR MY DAUGHTER NURTURING IS MY PRIMARY CHARACTERISTIC WHEN IT COMES TO HER.

MY FATHER SAID ONE OF THE NICEST THINGS HE SAID OF COURSE YOU ARE A GREAT FATHER YOU ARE THE MOST NURTURING PERSON THAT I'VE KNOWN.

CANNOT GET BETTER THAT THAT.

>> BEFORE YOU DECIDED TO HAVE A CHILD, AND YOU WEREN'T THINKING ABOUT THAT SIDE OF YOURSELF, WHAT [INAUDIBLE] >> BECOMING A PARENT EARLIER?

>> NO, ACKNOWLEDGING AND FOSTERING YOUR NURTURING SIDE?

>> SURE.

I'VE ALWAYS LED LARGE TEAMS OF PROFESSIONALLY IN THE COMPANIES I HAVE OWNED OR WORKED FOR AND MY BEHAVIOR THERE WHILE I DID NOT NAME IT AS NURTURING OFTEN HELPED THEM ADVANCE IN THEIR CAREERS.

MENTORING.

YES.

TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN.

WE MENTOR ADULTS AND NURTURE CHILDREN.

>> I LIKED THE WAY MY FATHER WAS A FATHER.

I WANTED TO BE A FATHER.

HE WANTED TO BE A FATHER.

THE SADDEST DAY I HAD WHEN MY KIDS GREW UP AND LEFT.

I ENJOYED HAVING THEM THERE.

I ENJOYED EVERY SECOND WITH THEM.

I SEE PEOPLE NOW WITH KIDS AND SAY AND THEY ARE COMPLAINING BECAUSE THE KID IS CRYING.

LOOK, ENJOY THIS MOMENT.

BECAUSE ONE DAY IT WILL BE GONE AND YOU WILL MISS IT.

>> BUT HOW WOULD YOU GET THOSE YOUNG MEN YOU WERE TALKING TO IN THE CORRECTIONAL FACILITY TO FEEL THAT WAY BEFORE THEY STARTED HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX WITH WOMEN THAT THEY OBVIOUSLY DID NOT HAVE RELATIONSHIPS WITH?

>> AND JOE WILL JUMP IN ON THIS.

BUT WE HAVE THIS FAMILY STRUCTURE SITUATION PROBLEM THAT WE HAVE TO COPE WITH.

WE DON'T HAVE A LOT OF TWO-PARENT FAMILIES.

WE HAVE A LOT OF WOMEN RAISING KIDS BY THEMSELVES.

>> IT'S TRUER IN THE BLACK COMMUNITY WHERE IT'S SOMETHING LIKE 70%.

BUT IT'S TRUE ACROSS THE COUNTRY BECAUSE IT'S NOW 30% OR MORE OF ALL CHILDREN BEING RAISED BROUGHT INTO THE WORLD BY SINGLE MOTHERS.

>> YOU HAVE TO SUPPLEMENT THAT.

THERE HAS TO BE ANOTHER FORCE COMING INTO THE PICTURE TO HELP THAT INDIVIDUAL.

IF FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN TO MAKE SURE THAT THE CHILDREN ARE SEEING GOOD EXAMPLES TO FOLLOW.

YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE PRESENCE OF UNCLES AND COUSINS AND NEIGHBORS PEOPLE IN THE COMMUNITY WHO COME INTO THE LIVES OF THESE KIDS SO THAT THEY GET AN EXAMPLE OF SEE EXAMPLES OF MEN IN A POSITIVE ROLES.

YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS THAN I DO.

BUT YOU CANNOT JUST THROW UP YOUR HANDS AND SAY WELL WE'LL WORK WITH THE MOTHER AND DO WHAT YOU CAN WITH THE MOTHER.

SHE NEEDS TO HAVE HELP.

>> WE WILL GET MORE INTO THIS IN THE NEXT SEGMENT.

LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER @BONNIEERBE OR TO THE CONTRARY.

FROM FATHERS' ROLES TO HEFORSHE.

>> THE U.N.'S HEFORSHE CAMPAIGN CONTINUES TO GAIN MALE PARTNERS AROUND THE GLOBE.

THE CAMPAIGN IS DEDICATED TO ACHIEVING GENDER EQUALITY BY ENGAGING MEN IN THE FIGHT FOR WOMEN'S RIGHTS BUT IT WILL NEED A BIG PUSH TO REACH THE GOAL OF SIGNING UP ONE BILLION MEN.

325,000 MEN JOINED INCLUDING 77,000 AMERICANS.

U.N. WOMEN HONORED ICELAND AS THE MOST MOBILIZED NATION ATTRACTING 1 IN 20 MEN.

AND THE PROJECT WANTS TO ENGAGE GOVERNMENTS CORPORATIONS, MENS ORGANIZATIONS UNIVERSITIES AND SCHOOLS.

ITS GOAL IS TO GET MEN AND BOYS TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ELIMINATING ALL FORMS OF DISCRIMINATION AGAINST WOMEN AND VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN AND GIRLS.

>> SO, CHRIS, IS IT POSSIBLE TO GET A SIGNIFICANT PORTION OF MEN IN THIS WORLD WHERE OVER SEVEN BILLION PEOPLE AT THIS POINT, PRESUMABLY 3.5 MILLION -- 3 BEEN 5 BILLION ARE MEN AND 375,000 OF THEM HAVE AGREED TO TAKE ON OWNING SEX DISCRIMINATION, OWNING GENDER VIOLENCE AND AGREEING TO FIGHT IT.

IS THIS A PIPE DREAM?

OR IS IT GOING TO BE A SMALL PERCENTAGE OF MEN?

OR COULD IT BE BROUGHT TO A WIDER SCALE?

>> IT'S BABY STEPS.

IT'S CULTURAL.

IT'S BEEN IN OUR SOCIETY FOR A LONGTIME IN TERMS HOW MEN ARE RAISED TO THINK ABOUT WOMEN ESPECIALLY IN SOME OF THE EMERGING MARKETS IN THE WORLD.

YOU HAVE SEEN THE STATISTICS.

SOMETHING THAT WE CAN HELP MOVE THE NEEDLE FORWARD ON THROUGH PROGRAMS LIKE THIS.

HOWEVER IT WILL TAKE A LONGTIME.

>> WHEN YOU -- MEN GO THROUGH YOUR PROGRAM DO YOU SEE THEM BECOMING FEMINIST?

OR THE EQUIVALENT OF FIGHTING FOR GENDER EQUALITY FOR THEIR WOMEN, TOO?

OR DO THEY BECOME BETTER FATHERS WITHOUT THE BECOMING MORE SUPPORTIVE OF THEIR GIRLFRIENDS AND WIVES WIVES' EDUCATION AND CAREERS, TOO.

>> I'M SNEAKY I'M TRYING TO BE STRATEGIC WHEN I WORK WITH OUR GUYS.

OUR GUYS ARE SHARP AND SMART AND COME FROM A CULTURE WHERE WE ACCEPT THE NONSENSE THAT HAS GONE ON.

SO WE WORK WITH THE HOUSE OF RUTH MARYLAND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SHELTER TO PROVIDE INFORMATION AND EDUCATION TO EVERY GUY WHO GOES THROUGH THE PROGRAM.

SO THERE IS A BASELINE OF INFORMATION AND THEN WHEN THERE IS A KEY ISSUE WE CAN PROVIDE SERVICES THROUGH THAT RESOURCE.

ON THE SNEAKY SIDE, YOU CAN HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH THE GUYS THAT I WORK WITH.

AND THE GUYS ARE LOW INCOME AGE 18-35 IN GENERAL.

SO THEY MAY HAVE A CONVERSATION THAT IS GERMAINE TO THEIR CULTURE AND THE NUANCES HOW THEY ARE RAISED.

WHEN YOU TALK TO THEM ABOUT THEIR DAUGHTERS AND HOW THEY WANT THEIR DAUGHTERS TREATED BY MEN THEN YOU CHANGE THE DISCOURSE.

I UNDERSTAND WHERE THEY ARE COMING FROM.

AND I'M NOT TRYING TO BE PRESCRIPTIVE I TRY TO FIT IN AND WHERE I CAN GET IN AND FIT IN IS WHEN I TALK TO THEM ABOUT THEIR DAUGHTERS THEN YOU SEE THE WHEELS OF JUSTICE CHANGING IN THEIR HEAD A LITTLE BIT.

>> WE HAVE A SHORT TIME LEFT.

COLBY IN A MINUTE TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS ON THAT POINT.

HOW DO YOU GET MEN TO SAY MY GENDER IS IF I AM NOT PERMANENTLY BUT MY GENDER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND RESPONSIBLE FOR SEX DISCRIMINATION AND THEN WHAT DO YOU GET THEM TO DO WITH THAT?

>> YOU HAVE TO GET THEM FIRST TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THE PROBLEM IS BECAUSE OF THAT.

BEFORE YOU GET AROUND TO THE SOLUTION.

YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THE IMPACT OF MY INSENSITIVITY.

THE IMPACT OF MY LACK OF APPRECIATION FOR GENDER EQUALITY AND THE ECONOMICS OF IT.

ONCE THEY UNDERSTAND THAT ECONOMICALLY IT'S IN THE BEST INTEREST TO HAVE GENDER EQUALITY FOR THE PERSON THAT YOU ARE WITH TO NOT EARNING HALF OF WHAT YOU ARE GETTING BUT MORE OF WHAT YOU ARE GETTING.

IN MY HOUSEHOLD I'M PROUD TO SAY MY WIFE IS THE BREAD WINNER.

>> QUICKLY DAVID.

>> ALL THIS PETITION FEMINISM IS THE FIRST WORLD PROBLEM.

IF YOU WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE LET'S START WITH MAKING SURE SAUDI WOMEN CAN DRIVE AND WOMEN ARE NOT SOLD AS SLAVES AT 14.

THOSE PROBLEMS PEOPLE WHO ARE PUSHING THE CAMPAIGN THE EMMA WATSON'S THEY COULD ROLL UP THEIR SLEEVES AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT BUT THAT IS HARD WORK AND I CHALLENGE YOU TO COME BACK IN 10 YEARS AND SHOW ME HOW MANY 375,000 PEOPLE REMEMBER SIGNING THE PETITION.

>> FROM HEFORSHE TO SHE BILLS.

>> IT LOOKS LIKE THE TREASURY DEPARTMENT GOT THE HINT SORT OF.

THE GOVERNMENT SAYS IT WILL FEATURE A WOMAN ON THE $10 BILL BUT SHE WILL NOT BE ALONE.

THE DECISION FOLLOWS A VISIBLE CAMPAIGN WOMEN ON 2 OWES THAT -- 20s THAT ADVOCATED FOR A WOMAN TO REPLACE ANDREW JACKSON.

THE ADMINISTRATION SEEKS PUBLIC INPUT WHICH WOMAN'S FACE SHOULD GRACE THE BILL.

THE HASHTAG THE NEW 10 IS BEING USED TO SHARE OPINIONS.

WOMEN SUGGESTED HARRIET YET TUBMAN TO ELEANOR ROOSEVELT.

THE $10 WILL INCLUDE ALEXANDER HAMILTON.

NEW NOTES WILL CIRCULATE IN 2020 MARKING THE 100TH ANNIVERSARY OF WOMEN'S RIGHT TO VOTE.

AND THAT IS IT FOR THIS EDITION.

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER AND VISIT OUR WEBSITE PBS.ORG/TOTHECONTRARY.

AND WHETHER YOU AGREE OR THINK TO THE CONTRARY, SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

[♪♪♪] FOR A TRANSCRIPT OR TO SEE AN ON-LINE VERSION OF THIS EPISODE OF TO THE CONTRARY VISIT OUR WEBSITE AT PBS.ORG/TOTHECONTRARY.

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